


Death of a Bachelor

by cutelilfics



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam (Voltron) Lives, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Established Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Established Allura/Romelle (Voltron), Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Funny, Gay Adam (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Hawaiian Hunk (Voltron), Humor, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) are Roommates, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, I hope this is funny, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt are Roommates, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Korean Keith (Voltron), Lesbian Pidge (Voltron), Lesbian Romelle (Voltron), Matt Holt & Shiro Friendship, Matt Holt & Shiro are Roommates, Multi, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Pansexual Allura (Voltron), Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt is So Done, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, klance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-07-24 22:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16184165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutelilfics/pseuds/cutelilfics
Summary: Keith and Lance have been pining over each other for a year. They haven't talked once. Their friends are done with it.Basically, Pidge gives Keith Lance's number and Lance and Keith become friends. BUT Lance doesn't know he is talking to Keith and Keith doesn't know he is talking to Lance.





	1. do i look lonely?

**Author's Note:**

> okay hi so i decided to write another fanfic and i hope its kinda funny??? Its going to be really fluffy but i swear a lot lmao but enjoy!!!
> 
>  
> 
> also this fic is named after Death of a Bachelor by Panic! at the Disco CAUSE I FUCKING LOVE THEM but uh yeah enjoy

**Hey**

whos this?

**your brother?**

nope

you got the wrong number

**oh shit sorry**

**my friend gave me the wrong number**

* * *

 

**Emo Bitch**

wtf pidge

you gave me the wrong number

**Gremlin**

oops lmao

here's shiro's number 

_*idk just pretend shiro's number is here*_

**Emo**   **Bitch**

thanks

**Gremlin**

ofc

* * *

 

why didnt u have ur brother's number???

**my brother moved away**

**his roommate is my friend's brother**

oh cool

**...yeah**

so whats ur name?

**why does it matter?**

i want to be friendssss

**lmao nope**

why?

**idk, what if your a 45 year old man in his mom's basement????**

well u could also be a 45 year old man

thats the thing about internet friends

**...**

**i guess you're right..**

**but i cant tell you my name.**

whyyyy

**what if you stalk me**

how can i stalk you if i only know ur first name?

**idk maybe you're really fucking smart**

i guess

so just tell me a nickname or something

**...**

**you can call me red.**

okay red! you can call me blue!

* * *

 

**Blue**

GOOD MORNING RED!

**Red**

mornin'

**Blue**

so 

what are you doing today?

**Red**

i have to go to work

and the gym

and then im playing video games with my friend

**Blue**

cool

im going to work and then im probably just gonna chill at home

**Red**

that sounds really fucking boring and you sound really fucking lazy

**Blue**

UM NO

RUDE

i work at a dance studio so i get plenty of exercise thank you very much.

and how much exercise do YOU get??? hmmm???

**Red**

i go to the gym everyday.

**Blue**

oh

oh shit

well

uh

i have to go

to work

bye red

**Red**

bye blue

* * *

 

**Gremlin**

KEITHHHHH

**Emo Bitch**

why are you texting me 

we are in the same room

**Gremlin**

you were too busy on your phone to answer me.

who are you texting?

i thought i was your only friend???

**Emo Bitch**

okay fuck off

and they're an internet friend.

**Gremlin**

wait

is it that wrong number i gave you

**Emo Bitch**

yup

im realizing that i know nothing about them lmao

i dont even know if its a dude or not

**Gremlin**

oh

well

maybe ask them??

**Emo Bitch**

yeah

i will 

* * *

 

**OPERATION M.K.H.A.S.T.D.P**

 

**Gremlin**

GUYS

OPERATION MAKE KLANCE HAPPEN AND STOP THE DESPERATE PINING IS A GO

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

REALLY???

HOW?

**Gremlin**

I GAVE KEITH LANCE'S NUMBER BUT I SAID IT WAS SHIRO'S 

AND THEY CONTINUED TALKING

AND NOW THEY ARE FRIENDS????

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

WHAT???

why didnt lance tell me he was talking to keith :(

**Dad**

yeah, keith hasnt told me anything yet...?

**Gremlin**

well there is one problem...

**Princess**

oh god...

**MATTitties**

what did you do katie

**Gremlin**

OKAY STFU MATT

**Dad**

language!

**Gremlin**

ughhh

well uh

keith and lance dont exactly know who the other person is???

so lance doesnt know he is texting keith

and keith doesnt know he is texting lance???

keith calls lance blue and lance calls keith red

**Princess**

oh

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

well

that certainly complicates things...

**Dad**

when do you think they will find out?

**MATTitties**

I BET 20 DOLLARS THAT THEY WONT FIND OUT UNTIL AFTER 6 MONTHS

**Gremlin**

theres no way it will take more that 6 months

**Dad**

excuse me

but we arent allowed to bet on our friends.

**Gremlin**

....

i bet 20 dollars that they will find out before 6 months.

* * *

 

**Red**

hey blue?

**Blue**

yeah?

**Red**

well i kinda realized that we know nothing about each other

**Blue**

20 QUESTIONS

**Red**

what?

**Blue**

LETS PLAY 20 QUESTIONS!

**Red**

sure

**Blue**

I CAN GO FIRST

uhmmm

what is your...

FAVORITE ANIMAL

**Red**

wolf

wbu

**Blue**

dolphin 

your turn

**Red**

what are your pronouns???

**Blue**

oh yeah i never told you lol

he/him

wbu

**Red**

same

**Blue**

okayyy ummm what do you do? 

like

whats your job

**Red**

im an artist

well a photographer

but i do some painting and sketches

**Blue**

cool

im a dancer

i instruct dance for little kids and i compete in competitions

**Red**

are you any good???

**Blue**

oh fuck yeah

**Red**

okay next question

how old are you

**Blue**

im 24

**Red**

cool im 25

**Blue**

okay

so 

what do you do????

**Red**

i told you

photography

**Blue**

i dont mean your job

i mean

what people do you do

dudes

ladies

both

neither

**Red**

oh im gay as fuck

**Blue**

LMAO

im bisexual

but i have the biggest gayest crush right now ugh

**Red**

me too

about the big gay crush thing haha

**Blue**

hes just so amazing ughhh

but im so scared to talk to him

hes too perfect

**Red**

i know how you feel

i really like this guy

he is PERFECT

not only is he gorgeous but he is really fucking nice

and funny

and cute

and WAY out of my league

there is no way he would ever notice me

**Blue**

damn you sound just as hopeless and lonely as i do

the guy i like is unbelievably stunning

he is friends with one of my friends and i have been told so much about him

i have just been watching him from a distance for about a year now

my friend says that he is a big nerd

but he looks like such a bad boy and when she told me i thought "no way could he be the least bit nerdy"

then i pictured him with glasses on and a dorky shirt on and it was such a turn on???

like wtf you arent supposed to look so hot???

**Red**

the guy i like is friends with one of my friends too

hes actually friends with the girl who gave me this number lol

but hes just really hot

and adorable at the same time

he has really cute freckles and gorgeous blue eyes

like wtf

why are you so pretty?

but wait 

theres more

his gorgeous chestnut hair looks so soft and flowy and ugh

ANSND ONE TIME I SAW HIM IN A CAFE AND HIS HSIR WAS ALL CURLY AND HE HAD GLASFSES ON AND IT WAS SO BEAUTBIFUL FJSNDSDJKFSFDJDFJDSJKD

*and

**hair

***glasses

****beautiful

**Blue**

haha you sound really desperate

**Red**

yeah

i am. 

and i havent even talked to him yet ughhhh its been a year

**Blue**

it sounds like we are both stuck in similar situations

**Red**

yeah

**Blue**

i hope that it works out with your guy

**Red**

thanks

you too.


	2. i see the shadows on my face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff and keith and lance are sad cause all their friends are having amazing luck with romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is very fluffy uwu

**Blue**

red

red

red

red

red

red

red

red

red

red

red

**Red**

wtf

**Blue**

he is so cute i cant stand it

i see him and he is on his phone and he just looks so adorable

i want to talk to him. 

but i cant

ugh that would be weird

**Red**

just go talk to him

**Blue**

but i cant

he makes me so nervous

ughhhh god dammit 

HE JUST  CHUCKLED A LITTLE AND HE WRINKLED UP HIS NOSE AND IT WAS PRECIOUS OMGGGG

OH GOD

HE IS PROBABLY TEXTING HIS BOYFRIEND

OH GOD

OR GIRLFRIEND

UGHHHH

WHAT IF HE IS STRAIGHT????

**Red**

that would suck???

OH SHIT

WAIT

WHAT IF THE GUY I LIKE IS STRAIGHT

HE FLIRTS WITH GIRLS BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM FLIRT WITH A GUY

he is probably straight.

we are both so fucked.

**Blue**

yep.

* * *

 

**Blue**

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGb4GAaz808>

RED

LOOK

**Red**

what is it?

**Blue**

JUST WATCHHHH

its funny i promise

**Red**

blue.

why

i honestly dont know what to say

**Blue**

YOU ARE LAUGHING ARENT YOU?

I KNOW YOU ARE

**Red**

IT WASNT FUNNY

BUT IM LAUGHING???

IDFK

**Blue**

RED

YOU ARE LAUGHING BECAUSE ITS FUNNY

**Red**

WELL I MEAN

i guess the drumming was a little funny

**Blue**

YEP

NOW YOU SEND ME SOMETHING

**Red**

wait

can i send you anything

no matter how disturbing?

**Blue**

oh god

um

sure

go ahead

**Red**

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHH2DFDcpH8&has_verified=1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHH2DFDcpH8&has_verified=1)

**Blue**

wtf

**Red**

hi stranger.

its been a while...

**Blue**

WTF 

NO

**Red**

ive missed you.

its okay

you can look at my butt 

HNGNGfFPF

**B** **lue**

omg red

stop

that was seriously disturbing

ew

wtfff

**Red**

*whispers*

i feel like i can really be vulnerable around you

**Blue**

OH FUCK OFF RED

IM LEAVING

BYE

* * *

 

**Dad**

Allura

Allura

Allura

Allura

Allura

**Princess Allura**

whaaattt

**Dad**

i just met someone

PERFECT for you

you would really like her

**Princess Allura**

well thats odd

the new guy who volunteers at the animal shelter is definitely your type

**Dad**

I WANT A BLIND DATE

I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO ON A BLIND DATE

**Princess Allura**

well i will ask him if he is doing anything later

**Dad**

COOL 

i will ask her

* * *

 

**Shiro**

ROMELLEEEEEEE

**Romelle**

SHIROOOOO

**Shiro**

i have a friend

who is really gorgeous

and shes unbelievably kind

and unique

and incredible

so i was wondering if you wanted to go out with her

**Romelle**

oooo

of course???

shes sounds amazing???

**Shiro**

GREAT

I WILL BE AT YOUR PLACE TONIGHT AND I WILL HELP YOU PICK AN OUTFIT AND EVERYTHING AH

* * *

 

**Allura**

hi adam

**Adam**

oh hey allura!

**Allura**

so

i happen to have a friend

he is really hot and buff and sexy

but he is also really adorable at the same time???

he is an actual dad (not really but he kinda adopted a bunch of children who already have parents but he just loves them so much that he sees them as his children and they see him as their father)

and i need you to go on a date with him

cause we were setting each other up on blind dates and i thought "wow! adam happens to be just his type!!!"

**Adam**

well

okay

sure

* * *

 

**Takashi**

hey

**Adam**

hi!

**Takashi**

i just wanted you to know that I had a lot of fun on our date and I was wondering if you would like to go on a second date?

**Adam**

of course

i had a lot of fun too

* * *

 

**Allura**

hello romelle :)

**Romelle**

hi Allura!

thank you for such a wonderful date

you are just like shiro described you uwu

**Allura**

oh? and how did he describe me?

**Romelle**

well he said you were gorgeous 

and kind

and unique

and incredible

**Allura**

you are all of those things and so much more

would you like to go get coffee tomorrow???

**Romelle**

sure 

its a date ;)

* * *

 

**Gremlin**

KEITH

KEITH

HOLY SHIT

THERE WAS THIS GIRL

THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL

SHE WAS FLAWLESS HOLY SHITTTT

**Emo Bitch**

where did you see her?

**Gremlin**

THAT COFFEE SHOP 

THE NEW ONE

SHES A BARISTA

**Emo Bitch**

did you say anything?

**Gremlin**

kinda

she was like "hi! welcome to altea's! what can i get you today?" and i was like "a large black coffee" CAUSE I WAS TIRED AND I NEEDED IT AND SHE SAYS "one bitter cup of depression coming right up" AND THEN WINKED AHHHH

**Emo Bitch**

did you get her number?

**Gremlin**

no :(((

wait

keith

holy fuck

i did

she wrote it on the side of the cup.

holy shit!!!!

[picture of jaelyn's note](https://www.instagram.com/p/BoiDZE3nJDP/?taken-by=internetfriends.klance)

AHHHHHHH

KEITH

IM GOING TO CRY

**Emo Bitch**

thats great pidge

now go text her

**Gremlin**

well i would

but you matter more

something's wrong.

**Emo Bitch**

nothing is wrong pidge

**Gremlin**

liar.

tell meeee

**Emo Bitch**

well

its just that all of my friends are happy

and they all have amazing luck in romance

and im lonely pidge :(((

and i want lance :(((

**Gremlin**

lance is single

**Emo Bitch**

he is also way out of my league

**Gremlin**

well

not all of your friends have amazing luck in romance

what about your internet friend???

**Emo Bitch**

blue???

oh yeah

he has been pining over the same guy for a year

**Gremlin**

sounds alot like you

maybe you should talk to him???

**Emo Bitch**

yeah

thanks pidge

now go text jaelyn ;)

* * *

 

**Red**

blueeeee

help

all my friends are in happy relationships

and im still pining over that guy

and i really want to be happy like my friends

but i only want to be happy with himmmm

**Blue**

i get what you mean

my best friend just told me about this girl he likes and she likes him and its cute and i want to be happy but i cant stop thinking about him...

**Red**

blueeee

im sad

i want a hug

**Blue**

same buddy

i would give you a hug but i kinda dont know where you live

**Red**

yeah

we should meet

sometime eventually 

**Blue**

definitely

* * *

 

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

lance?

buddy?

you feeling better?

**Lancey Lance**

yeah 

i talked to red

he actually made me feel alot better

probably because we are both in similar situations

we are both pining over guys we cant have

and all of our friends are happy and we both pine

damn red and i have lots in common lmao

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

you probably have a lot more in common than you think...

* * *

 

**OPERATION M.K.H.A.S.T.D.P**

 

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

guys

i cant

lance is telling me about how "red" aka keith made him feel better

I NEED TO TELL HIM

**Gremlin**

hunk no

let them figure it out

...maybe we can push a little

but we cant tell them

**Princess Allura**

agreed

**Dad**

i cant wait for them to find out

**MATTitties**

same shiroooo

also

where the fuck are you

i ordered pizza

**Dad**

i was with Adam :))

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

awww

i wanna meet him

**MATTitties**

yeah i need to know the man who has been taking my roommate away >:(

**Dad**

you guys can meet him once lance and keith figure their shit out

**Gremlin**

alright

well i gtg text a cute girl 

bye

**MATTitties**

WAIT

WHAT CUTE GIRL

PIDGE YOU NEED TO TELL ME IM YOUR BROTHER

**Dad**

AND YOU NEED TO TELL ME IM YOUR DAD

**Gremlin**

byeeee

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed please comment cause i wanna know what you guys think about this so far


	3. people have told me i dont look the same...maybe ive lost weight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith and lance continue to pine and lance is really self-conscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im glad you guys are liking this so far and i hope you guys like this chapter

**Blue**

hi red

**Red**

hey

**Blue**

wyd

**Red**

sitting

**Blue**

o

ok

im sitting too

**Red**

wow.

fascinating.

**Blue**

stop being meannnn

youre being mean

did something happen???

WHATS WRONG BBY TELL MY EVERYTHING MI AMOR

**Red**

okay

calm your tits

and im fine

just annoyed

AT HOW FUCKING PERFECT THE GUY I LIKE IS

UGHHHH

**Blue**

oh god i know what you mean

everything thing he does makes me want to kiss him.

passionately.

I NEED TO STOP PINING DKDFKDFKS

**Red**

hes just so prettyyyyy

wait shit

i gtg to class

**Blue**

haha you have class

bye bitchhh

WAIT

SHIT 

ME TOO

OKAY SHIT I HAVE TO GO TO CLASS

BYE

* * *

 

**Gremlin**

you're late.

**Emo Bitch**

im pretty sure you are not supposed to be on your phone during class

**Gremlin**

im pretty sure you arent supposed to be late to class

**Emo Bitch**

you are so fucking annoying

**Gremlin**

but you love meeee

and

i know someone else you love

YOU DONT STOP STARING AT HIM

**Emo Bitch**

HOW DOES HE LOOK SO GOOD???

ALSO EVERYTHING HE DOES IS SO ENDEARING

RIGHT THERE.

PIDGE

DID YOU SEE THAT?

THAT GIRL SNEEZED

AND HE GAVE HER A TISSUE

**Gremlin**

wow.

what a babe.

**Emo Bitch**

STOP BEING SO SARCASTIC

**Gremlin**

IM A LESBIAN

I DONT GET YOUR WEIRD DESIRES FOR MEN

GO TEXT BLUE

**Emo Bitch**

OH 

YEAH

THE SAME SHIT IS GOING ON WITH HIM

**Gremlin**

JFC

BYE

* * *

 

**Red**

he is so cute

and hot

and pretty

and handsome???

**Blue**

he in your class?

**Red**

yup

**Blue**

yeah the guy i like is in my class too

and

he 

is

F

L

A

W

L

E

S

S

**Red**

okay but with my guy

he isnt just pretty

he is really smart

and really nice

he has a heart of fucking gold

i have made my friend tell me everything about him

**Blue**

ah same

my phones almost dead

i gtg

bye bitchhhh

* * *

 

**Lancey Lance**

HUNK

HUNK

HUNK

HUNK

HUNK

HUNK

HUNK

HUNK

HUNK

HUNK

HUNK

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

yes  lance???

**Lancey Lance**

i think he has a boyfriend

he is talking to this big handsome cool buff guy with weird but really badass hair

HE IS LAUGHING

THEY ARE REALLY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER

LIKE 

2 BROS CHILLIN IN THE HALLWAY

1 FOOT APART CAUSE THEY ARE BOTH GAY AF

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

its probably just a friend

**Lancey Lance**

but what if it isnt

oh god i need to start working out more

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

lance...

you spend the majority of your free time dancing

i dont think you need to work out anymore

**Lancey Lance**

but Hunkkkkk

you dont see this guy

he is so much better than me

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

NO LANCE

stop it

you are perfect

**Lancey Lance**

aww

thanks hunk uwu

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

of course uwu

* * *

 

**Dumb Bitch**

hiya pigeon 

**Pigeon**

what do you want lance

**Dumb Bitch**

i need you to tell me something

about keith

**Pigeon**

and what do i get?

**Dumb Bitch**

idk what do you want

**Pigeon**

you know that really nice table at your mom's restaurant

**Dumb Bitch**

yeah the one outside where its all romantic i know

**Pigeon**

i need it.

**Dumb Bitch**

oh okay

that isnt too bad i can reserve the table for you

**Pigeon**

also 

its free

including dessert and appetizers  

also make sure your mom cooks it.

**Dumb Bitch**

damn pidge

you are asking for a lot

but

i can convince my mom to cook for you and your date

why do you need my mom to cook it tho???

**Pigeon**

because shes cuban and she knows her shit

my date's grandfather lived in cuba for a while and he got recipes and his wife was a brilliant cook and they taught my date's mom all the recipes and shit and i need everything to be perfect

so dont fuck it up

**Dumb Bitch**

oh shit 

okay

now 

keith is still single

right?

**Pigeon**

yup

**Dumb Bitch**

OH THANK GOD

okay

next question

does he have a crush on anyone?

**Pigeon**

yeah

BUT

you definitely have a chance 

* * *

 

**Lancey Lance**

he has a crush :(

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

who told you that?

**Lancey Lance**

Pidge

i think its time i try to move on...

* * *

 

**Sweet Bitch**

PIDGE

WHAT DID YOU TELL LANCE

**Pidgeeee**

well

he asked me if keith had a crush

so i said yeah

BUT I TOLD HIM THAT HE STILL HAS A CHANCE

**Sweet Bitch**

he is so sad :(

you hurt the poor baby

**Pidgeeee**

fuckkkk

ugh

i think its time we do something.

**Sweet Bitch**

yeah...

* * *

**OPERATION M.K.H.A.S.T.D.P**

 

**Gremlin**

lance is sad

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

and its time to do something

**Gremlin**

THEY NEED TO TALK TO EACH OTHER

**MATTittes**

IM SO FUCKING READY

LETS DO THIS

THIS IS GOING TO BE SO FUNNY

 

_**Princess Allura changed OPERATION M.K.H.A.S.T.D.P** **to OPERATION M.K.A.L.A.T** _

 

**Princess Allura**

OPERATION MAKE KEITH AND LANCE ACTUALLY TALK IS A GO!!!

**Dad**

alright, just dont embarrass them too much

**Gremlin**

mkalat

**MATTitties**

mkalat

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

mkalat

**Princess Allura**

stop mocking me

its a wonderful name

* * *

 

**Emo Bitch**

PIDGE

I CANT BREATHE

**Gremlin**

what now

**Emo Bitch**

HE

HE GOT HIS EARS PIERCED

THATS SO HOT

IM GOING TO PASS OUT

OMG

OMFG

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

**Gremlin**

jfc

calm down

also

we are throwing a party on saturday

* * *

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

YOU GOT YOUR EARS PIERCED?!?!?!

**Lancey Lance**

well

you know i have always wanted to

and 

the guy Keith was hanging out with had his ears pierced

so i decided

why the fuck not

do you think its hot???

do you think he likes them???

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

yes lance

you look amazing

oh yeah and btw we are going to a party on saturday

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTER IS THE PARTY


	4. im playing hooky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the party ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so im really tired and i hope this doesnt suck lol

**Emo Bitch**

i dont get why we need to have a party

**Gremlin**

BECAUSEEEE

we want to meet hunk's girlfriend and shiro's boyfriend and allura's girlfriend AND JAELYN

**Emo Bitch**

wait

wtf

pidge

im the only single person

unless....

oh god

pidge

you didnt...

did you?

**Gremlin**

didnt what keithy?

**Emo Bitch**

WHO ELSE IS COMING TO THE PARTY??????

**Gremlin**

oh

you know...

the whole squad

its going to be so fun

allura is bringing beer, hunk is bringing your favorite cuban boy, and shiro is bringing cupcakes!!! apparently adam is great at baking.

**Emo Bitch**

PIDGE

WTF

**Gremlin**

dont worry, the frosting isnt TOO thick so you shouldnt get a bellyache this time

**Emo Bitch**

YOU KNOW THATS NOT WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

IM TALKING ABOUT LANCE YOU LITTLE SHIT

WTF DO I WEAR

I NEED TO LOOK DECENT

**Gremlin**

bitch

you see him every day

he sees you wearing normal clothes every day

**Emo Bitch**

BUT HE DOESNT LOOK AT ME

SO HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT I WEAR

**Gremlin**

jfc

* * *

**Lil Bro**

SHIRO

HELP

PARTY

LANCE

CLOTHING

**Big Bro**

okay keith

calm down

just send me pictures of what you are thinking of wearing and i will tell you yes or no.

okay?

**Lil Bro**

...

okay

thanks <3

* * *

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

do you know what you are wearing to the party?

**Lancey Lance**

uh idk

the party isnt for another 3 hours right?

I can just change clothes before we leave

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

um

lance

i forgot to tell you...

that

um

the party is at pidge's house???

**Lancey Lance**

okay 

why does that mattedfgrtyggrfg

PIDGE'S HOUSE???

PIDGE

AND KEITH

ARE ROOMMATES

HUNK

WTFFFF

BUT ITS A PARTY RIGHT???

ITS MANY PEOPLE

HE WONT SEE ME

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

well 

um

im going

Shay's going

Adam, Shiro, Pidge, Jaelyn, Allura, Romelle and Matt might be there for a while

and Lance

**Lancey Lance**

WAIT I DONT EVEN KNOW HALF OF THOSE PEOPLE

I ONLY KNOW YOU MATT ALLURA AND PIDGE AND ADAM KINDA

adam is allura's friend right?

what the fuck is a shiro???

who are jaelyn and romelle???

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

doesnt matter i will tell you later

i will be home really soon and i can help you pick an outfit

**Lancey Lance**

ah thank you hunk i love you so much <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

love you too bud <3

* * *

**Red**

today is the day

im actually going to talk to him

**Blue**

ah im finally talking to the guy i like too

its going to be really fucking awkward but IM SO EXCITED

**Red**

yeah

well 

i have to go

i will talk to you after

good luck

**Blue**

aw thanks you too :)))

* * *

**Dumb Bitch**

PIGEONNNNN

IM WEARING MY EARINGS

do you think he will like them? 

cause hunk said he would

he told me to wear my blue button up shirt

i think i look pretty handsome

also im wearing my really nice skinny jeans

you know the nice ones that show off my round ass?

**Pigeon**

what

the

FUCK

NO LANCE

I DONT SPEND MUCH TIME LOOKING AT YOUR ASS

SO NO

I DONT KNOW THE NICE JEANS THAT SHOW OFF YOUR  ASS

UGHHH

* * *

**Emo Bitch**

oh god

he is going to be here

really soon

fuck

THE DOORBELL

PIDGE

GET THE DOOR 

IM SCARED

* * *

Keith was hiding in his room. The second he heard the doorbell ring he began texting Pidge to go get the door. 

"Hello, Pidge!" Keith heard a muffled voice say. He immediately identified the voice as Allura's. Then he heard another voice he recognized. 

"Hi, it is so nice to meet you." he heard someone say. 

Keith stepped out of his room, surprised to see his old friend.

"Romelle?" 

"KEITH?"

"HOLY SHIT! It is you!"

Allura and Pidge shared a confused glance as Keith and Romelle hugged.

"So, how the fuck do you two know each other?" Pidge asked.

"Romelle and I were friends in high school."

Romelle nudged Keith. "Allura, this is the kid I used to smoke with when we were supposed to be at class."

Allura gasped. "Keith is mullet boy?"

Pidge began laughing hysterically. Keith was not amused.

"It is not a mullet." Keith runs his fingers through his hair subconsciously.

"Sure, Keith. Well, you certainly have changed. You don't wear My Chemical Romance shirts anymore, I see."

Pidge fell to her knees, tears rolling down her face as she laughed.

"Neither do you." Keith retorts. 

"And stop, I wasn't that emo. Also, Pidge is never going to let me live this down." Keith added, scowling.

"H-hey, mullet boy?" Pidge giggled.

"What." Keith looked down at Pidge who was still on the floor. 

She held up her phone as the beginning of Welcome to the Black Parade started playing.

Keith flinched.

"Wait. Keith. YOU JUST FLINCHED HOLY FUCK IM GOING TO DIE." Pidge continued to wheeze. 

Jaelyn walked in to see Pidge crying on the floor and Welcome to the Black Parade being played extremely loud.

"Uh, Pidge?"

Pidge immediately looked up when hearing Jaelyn's voice. 

"H-hi." Pidge giggled.

"Jaelyn, meet Allura and her girlfriend Romelle," Pidge said, pausing before turning to Keith.

"And this is mullet boy, he is emo as fuck."Pidge wheezed before falling to the ground, laughing.

Keith scowled before turning to Jaelyn. 

"I'm Pidge's roommate, Keith."

After everything settled down, Keith went to his room with Romelle to catch up.

Romelle and Keith sat on his bed, talking about college, their jobs, tv shows, movies, books, and hobbies.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Keith sprinted to close his bedroom door. 

Romelle raised an eyebrow. 

"Whatever, I might as well tell you. There is this really amazing guy and he might be at the door. I have kinda never talked to him and I have had a huge crush on him for a year now."

"Damn, Keith." Romelle giggled, about to say something else when Keith shushes her.

He pressed his ear to the door, trying to figure out if it was Lance or not.

"Hey, Pigeon." A muffled voice teased.

"Fuck off, Lance."

Keith ran back to the bed and collapsed next to Romelle, burying his face in the pillow.

"It's him." Keith squealed. 

"Keith, you have to get up and go out there," Romelle ordered.

"I can't."

Keith sat up and gasped. "The window!"

He scrambled out of bed, getting ready to climb out the window.

"No, Keith. This is important."

"Yeah but so were finals and we skipped those!"

Romelle giggled before glaring back up at Keith sternly.

"Keith, we played hooky almost every day. The teachers called our parents."

"Well, guess what Romelle? No one is going to call my parents if I play hooky."

"No, but I will call Shiro."

Keith gasped dramatically. 

"No."

Romelle smirked.

"I swear to God Keith, I will."

Keith sighed before sitting back down next to Romelle.

"KEITH!!! GET YOUR EMO ASS IN HERE TO GREET YOUR GUESTS. AND BRING EMO NUMBER 2 WITH YOU!!!" Pidge screamed.

Keith chuckled. 

"Well, c'mon emo number 2."

* * *

Keith almost screamed when he saw Lance. Lance was wearing a blue button-down shirt with the first two buttons unbuttoned and his shirt untucked. He was wearing skinny jeans that fit him perfectly and had simple black earrings on.

Little did Keith know that Lance's heart did cartwheels when he saw Keith.

Keith was wearing dark jeans and a grey shirt, but what really got to Lance was the leather jacket. 

Lance almost didn't realize the girl that followed Keith out of his bedroom.

_Almost._

Lance's heart sunk when he saw the girl because she truly was beautiful.

Compared to her he didn't stand a chance.

"Mullet boy, meet Shay" Pidge giggled.

Keith rolled his eyes before glaring at Romelle. 

"Jesus fucking Christ" Keith mumbled before turning towards Romelle to say more.

"Why the fuck did you call me mullet boy? Why not Keith? Or that kid I used to smoke with? Or that emo little bitch?" Keith complained.

"I talked about you all the time, I didn't always say mullet boy. I had to change it up sometimes," Romelle argued. 

"Fine, so what else did you call me?" Keith crossed his arms.

"Well, I called you mullet boy, my emo friend, high school bestie, smoking partner, Texan smoker, Texan emo, Texan gay, gay cowboy, gay yeehaw, gay bestie, gay smoker, gay pal, and of course my favorite, my fellow gay."

Following Romelle's long list of names was Pidge's wheezing.

"GAY YEEHAW" Pidge screeched before laughing more. Jaelyn was quietly laughing along with her.

Lance would have laughed if he wasn't replaying Romelle's words in his head.

Keith is gay? 

Lance did his best to hold back a smile.

"You're gay?" Lance blurted out.

"Oh, uh, yeah."

"Cool, I'm bi." Lance awkwardly said.

Keith's face lit up when he heard Lance's words.

"Cool," Keith said, thinking of nothing better to say.

Awkward silence filled the air.

"So when did you get your ears pierced?" Keith asked.

Lance's face lit up. Lance figured that Keith didn't even know his name, so of course, he was happy that Keith noticed his earrings.

"Oh, last week! Do you like them?" Lance glanced up nervously, biting his lip.

"Yeah, they look really..."

_Hot?_

_Sexy?_

_Attractive?_

_Gorgeous?_

"cool." Keith continued.

Lance smiled brightly at Keith. Keith couldn't help but smile back.

"I have a piercing too. I just never really wear jewelry too much so.." Keith was interrupted by the doorbell. Keith went to go answer, but not before smiling and saying "I will be right back." to Lance.

Lance quickly pulled out his phone.

* * *

**Dumb Bitch**

PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT KEITH'S PIERCING

WHAT DID HE GET PIERCED????

 **P** **igeon**

his lip

but im not telling you anymore

you need to ask him

**Dumb Bitch**

ugh whatever.

* * *

**Lancey Lance**

HUNKKKKK

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

yes Lance????

**Lancey Lance**

he has a lip piercing

that is so hot

holy fuckkkkkkkkkk

wait shit he is coming back bye

* * *

 

Keith answered the door to see Shiro and someone else he didn't recognize.

"Oh, you must be Adam," Keith smirked.

Pidge walked over and smiled kindly at Adam before screaming for Matt.

"Matt! We found the guy who has been stealing your roommate!" Pidge screeched. 

Matt stomped over.

"I swear to God, Matt, if you do the thing-" Shiro was interrupted.

"Oh, he is doing the thing," Keith smirked as Pidge cackled.

If you listened closely, you could hear Shiro whisper "I am so sorry" to Adam.

"YOU!" Matt hollered.

Lance put his phone in his pocket.

Adam looked horrified.

"YOU have taken away my roommate! My pal! My bestie for the restie! Mi amor!"

Matt continued his dramatic performance by lovingly stroking Shiro's cheek, only to pull away and point at Adam.

"SHAME on you!"

"Shameeee" Pidge and Keith both scolded.

"How could you take away my only love? Shiro is the love of my life!" Matt pouted and put his hand on his chest.

"shame shame shame shame shame shame shame shame shame shame" Keith and Pidge quietly chanted. Keith swiftly ran away as Pidge continued to chant. He grabbed Lance's hand and pulled him over.

"Just follow along," Keith whispered before winking at Lance. They continued to chant, this time with Lance.

"I will miss you, my love! But your heart has been taken by another!" Matt fell to the ground.

"Shiro, please, hold me as I die..." Matt said as he closed his eyes.

"Oh no!" Pidge squealed.

"He is dying!" Keith wailed.

Keith squeezed Lance's hand when it was time for Lance to talk.

"How sad!" Lance sniffled.

"And it is all because of you, Adam...SHAME!!!" 

"SHAME!!!" Keith, Lance, and Pidge screamed together.

Adam's eyes were wide and confused, Shiro looked pissed.

Matt quickly stood up and everyone began running.

"I AM GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU." Shiro began running towards Keith, Matt, Pidge, and Lance.

"WHY DO YOU DO THIS EVERYTIME?!?!" Shiro got closer.

"Can't break tradition," Matt responded, winking at Shiro before they all ran into Keith's room and closed the door.

"Okay, um. What the fuck was that?" Lance giggled. 

"I do it every time Shiro invites his boyfriend to meet us. I need to know if they will be able to handle a relationship with Shiro." Matt shrugs.

"If Adam wants a serious relationship with Shiro, he is going to be seeing us often," Pidge added.

"So we just give him an idea of what it will be like if their relationship goes any further," Keith added.

"That's actually kinda sweet?" Lance giggled and Keith wanted to scream.

They heard a loud knock on the door. 

"Shit," Keith muttered.

"Well, I'm going out the window. Bye guys!" Matt said before climbing out of the window.

"Pidge, sit on the bed and look innocent. Shiro won't hurt you." Keith said.

"Lance, c'mon. We have to hide under my bed." Keith explained, pulling Lance by his hand.

Lance wrinkled his nose.

 _CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE_   Keith's brain screamed.

"There is nothing under my bed," Keith reassured with a smile.

"Yeah, Keith is surprisingly tidy," Pidge added.

After some hesitation, Lance joined Keith under the bed.

Shiro opened the door, surprised to only see Pidge.

"Get your brother. And make him apologize." Shiro growled before closing the door.

"Well, I'm gonna go find Matt. Bye guys!" Pidge said before climbing out the window.

Keith and Lance got out from under the bed.

"So..." Keith said awkwardly. 

"Could you show me your piercing?" Lance blurted out.

"Oh uh sure." Keith stood up and opened a drawer. After a few seconds, Keith pulled out a simple black ring. He put it in and turned around to face Lance.

_fuck fuck fuck ABORT ABORT_

It was just a simple side lip piercing, but it did things to Lance's heart.

"Fuck, that's hot," Lance muttered. 

Keith almost didn't hear.

"What?" Keith said, his face flushing.

"What?" Lance responded, his face an even darker red.

* * *

**Red**

IT WAS AMAZING

HE IS AMAZING

ALSO HE IS SO CUTE???

LIKE HIS WHOLE PERSONALITY

**Blue**

AH HE IS SUCH A DORK

BUT THEN HE GOES ALL ANGSTY COOL BOY

AND HE IS SO HOT

AND HE IS GAY AHHHHHH

**Red**

as much as i love talking to you

i need sleep

**Blue**

yeah of course me too

good night red

**Red**

good night blue

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well hope you enjoyed :)


	5. with the best of the best, pull my heart out my chest so that you can see it too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> movie night and pidge had too much coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it has been a while since ive updated but expect another update tomorrow
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SWEET COMMENTS I LOVE YOU GUYS AW

**Old Emo Fren**

keithhhh

you never told me exactly what you were doing with lance

you know

WHEN YOU WERE ALONE WITH HIM IN  YOUR BEDROOM???

**Gay Yeehaw**

calm down romelle

i just showed him my lip piercing

AND IM PRETTY SURE I HEARD HIM CALL ME HOT?!??! 

I MEAN

HE WAS BLUSHING 

and then Pidge came back >:(

and then nothing else happened

**Old Emo Fren**

did you get his number

**Gay Yeehaw**

no 

shit

i will ask pidge 

* * *

**Emo Bitch**

pidgeeee

**Gremlin**

what

**Emo Bitch**

do you have lance's number

* * *

**OPERATION M.K.A.L.A.T**

 

**Gremlin**

keith asked for lances phone number

wtf do i do???

should i just give him a fake number???

guyssssss

ANSWER BEFORE I DIE

I CANT GIVE HIM LANCE'S NUMBERRRR

FUCK

whatever

im giving him the wrong number

thanks for the help.

* * *

**Gremlin**

_*lol fake number hehe*_

here

**Emo Bitch**

thank youuu

* * *

**Dumb Bitch**

hi

so

do you happen to have keith's number????

**Pigeon**

yeah 

wait one sec

* * *

**OPERATION M.K.A.L.A.T**

 

**Gremlin**

NOW LANCE IS ASKING FOR KEITHS NUMBER

SO

I GUESS IM GIVING HIM A FAKE NUMBER TOO

LMAO BYE BITCHES

* * *

**Pigeon**

_*another fake number heh*_

here ya go

**Dumb Bitch**

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU 

AHHHH

THANK YOU SO MUCH

OKAY

LOVE YOU 

BYE

* * *

**OPERATION M.K.A.L.A.T**

 

**G** **remlin**

lance was so happy when i gave him "keith's" number

i wonder whos number it really is...

lmao i WILL DIE if its some creepy old man asking for dick pics

* * *

**Keith**

hi lance???

its keith

**Unknown Number**

im not lance

you have the wrong number lol

**Keith**

IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL HER

SHE HAS NEVER GIVEN ME THE RIGHT NUMBER

**Unknown Number**

well 

is murder really the solution???

cause if it is i can help lmaooo

what exactly did "she" do???

**Keith**

my roommate gave me the wrong number

and this isnt the first time this has happened

and its getting annoying

shes probably doing it on purpose too

but the first time it happened i met this really cool guy

and now we are friends

**Unknown Number**

well

im not a really cool guy

but im a really lonely bitch 

lets be friends

**Keith**

sure why the fuck not

im keith

**Unknown Number**

im acxa

* * *

**Lance**

hi keith! its lance, i think my earring might have fallen out in ur room??? is it under ur bed or something??

**Unknown Number**

im sorry lance but this isnt keith.

is keith a friend of yours or is he something more?

**Lance**

oh hes a friend

and there is no way he could ever be something more

he is WAY out of my league

**Unknown Number**

 

i find that unlikely.

**Lance**

but its true!!!

you would understand if you knew him

**Unknown Number**

for some reason, i find myself drawn to you.

if you dont mind, would you like to be friends?

**Lance**

sure!

whats your name?

**Unknown Number**

Lotor.

* * *

**Gremlin**

hey keith

lance and hunk are coming over in 10 minutes

figured i should let you know cause im that good of a friend

**Emo Bitch**

HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN THAT THEY ARE COMING OVER?!?!?!?!?

**Gremlin**

a few hours

**Emo Bitch**

I HATE YOU

* * *

"Hunkkkk....what if I say something stupid?" Lance fiddled with the sleeve of his coat jacket in the passenger's seat of Hunk's Jeep. Every once in a while he would look out the window and try to distract himself.

"You won't say something stupid, Lance. You are one of the most intelligent people I know."

"Thanks, but I get all stupid around him," Lance groaned, surprised to look out the window and see a familiar setting.

"Wait, shit. We are already here. Fuck. Okay." 

Lance got out of the car and hesitantly rang the doorbell.

And what he saw made him wish he stayed home. 

BECAUSE HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

HOW WAS KEITH SO HOT???

His hair was wet from taking a shower and he was wearing a black tank top. He has ripped skinny jeans on and he was wearing his lip ring.

"H-hi."

Lance tried not to stutter but HOLY SHIT KEITH IS GORGEOUS.

Suddenly, Pidge jumped in front of Keith.

"Hi!"

Keith sighed, looking down at Pidge who looked way too awake.

"She's was up all night working on a paper and she bought a gallon of coffee that she didn't want to go to waste so she drank all of it earlier today."

Pidge smiled happily at Lance as she bounced up and down on her toes.

"C'mon! Let's watch a movie! Hunk can you make popcorn? Cause when you make the popcorn it is so good, oh my god. Like, it's only popcorn why does it taste so good?"

Pidge ran around the kitchen as she continued rambling and pulling random things out of cabinets for popcorn.

"Pidge, hun. I don't think you need pickles to make popcorn," Lance giggled as he began putting away all the unnecessary things Pidge had taken out, only resulting in her scowling at him.

"I need all of that! We are making POPCORN EXTREME!!!!!" Pidge jumped on top of the counter before quickly coughing out "trademarked."

"Pidge. Get off the counter."

"THIS IS MY COUNTER, BITCH! I'M NOT GETTING DOWN!"

"Pidge. You need to get off the counter."

"YOU AREN'T MY MOM, LANCE! I'M ON A COUNTER AND YOU AREN'T!"

Lance almost missed the giggle coming from outside the kitchen.

He saw Keith laughing outside the door holding his phone in one hand, and one hand on his mouth, trying to stifle his laugh.

Lance winked at Keith before looking back at Pidge.

"Well, guess what Pigeon? I'm on the counter now."

Lance pushed himself up onto the counter, causing Pidge to gasp.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! MY COUNTER. GET DOWN."

"Only if you do."

Pidge pouted and nodded her head in agreement. 

Lance got down, expecting Pidge to get down after him. So you can imagine Lance's surprise when Pidge suddenly pounced onto his back.

He grunts before carrying Pidge and dropping her on the couch to pick a movie.

* * *

 

Pidge decided that she wanted to watch IT. 

The movie about a clown.

Keith hates clowns.

Pidge was cuddled into Keith's side, bouncing.

"Pidge, stop bouncing."

"I can't stop. I'm high on caffeine."

Keith groaned. "Well, I'm going to move next to Lance because he doesn't bounce like a fucking caffeinated idiot."

Lance was over the moon that Keith was sitting next to him. Lance usually sits next to Hunk but he knows that Hunk will understand.

Keith sat down on the couch a few feet away from Lance.

When Hunk brought the popcorn in he sat down next to Pidge, letting her lean on him.

Pidge started the movie and everything was fine until Keith saw Georgie meet Pennywise.

"PIDGE. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS THIS MOVIE? WHY IS THERE A CLOWN?" Keith yelped as he moved closer to Lance. Keith didn't realize how close he had gotten to Lance until he felt his leg bump into Lance's.

"Aw, Keith, you're afraid of clowns? Don't worry, it isn't that bad." Lance smirked, lifting his arm around Keith's shoulders.

When Pennywise bit off Georgie's arm, Keith grabbed Lance's shirt and buried his face in Lance's chest. Lance was very thankful that they were watching a horror movie because he could say he was scared, and that was the only thing causing the violent beating in his chest.

* * *

 

Halfway through the movie, Keith and Lance's phones beep. 

 

_**Lotor** _

_hello, Lance._

_what are you doing?_

 

Lance ignored the text to look over at Keith and see who he was texting.

 

_**Acxa** _

_hi_

_hi_

_hi_

_hu_

_*hi_

_hi_

_**Keith** _

whaaat

_**Acxa** _

i _just wanted you to_ knowwww

 _that_ i lovbe yoou

_**Keith** _

_are you drunk?_

_**Acxa** _

_mabe a_ liitle

bbhut

_*BUT_

i _wanted to_ knoe

_if you loved me too_

_I DID S_ SENTCE

_**Keith** _

_yeah good job axca_

_you did a sentence_

_and sure_

i _love you too_

_**Acxa** _

_BUT U_ KNNOW _HAT I MEAN_ RIGGHT _/?/!????@???_

_I MEAN IN THE GAY EAY_

_IM VERY GAT_

_*GAY_

_**Keith** _

i _know_ axca

_im gay too_

_**Acxa** _

_OH THANK GOD_

_YOUR GAU_

_*GAY_

 

Lance didn't want to read anymore.

Keith was taken by some man named Acxa.

 

"I think I might go home."

Keith looked up and frowned. 

"Why?"

"I'm tired." 

"You can stay here..."

"It's fine. Thank you."

Lance kissed Keith on the cheek before getting up and leaving.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lance thinks acxa is a guy lmaoooo


	6. im walking the long road watching the sky fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance and keith are hopeless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> expect lots of hopelessly confused keith and lance

**Lotor**

hello Lance

I was wondering if you would like to meet possibly tomorrow?

**Lance**

oh uh

yeah sure ig lol

where?

ik you live in nyc but...

**Lotor**

I live near Times Square

**Lance**

cool cool

me too

so where will we meet???

**Lotor**

Have you heard of Galra Empire???

**Lance**

uh yeah ofc?!?!?

kinda a weird name for a club but ITS FUCKING AMAZING

i have never been (sadly)

only rich people go there lmaooo

im just a broke college kid :(

so did you want to meet somewhere near there or...

**Lotor**

Well, I could have a limo pick you up at your house and drive you to my club at 9

**Lance**

YOUR CLUB????

**Lotor**

Yes, I own Galra Empire

**Lance**

HOLY SHITTTT

THAT MAKES MEETING YOU 10x MORE EXCITING AHAH

AHHH OKAY

SEE YOU TOMORROW!

**Lotor**

See you tomorrow, Lance.

* * *

 

**Blue**

REDDDD

IM SAD

COMFORT ME

THE GUY I LIKE IS TAKEN

HE IS IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

RED WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOO

im going to a club tomorrow???

maybe i can drown my sorrows in alchohol.

or maybe i could just have some really good sex.

this might come as a surprise but i am quite the flirt.

i can get anyone i want

EXCEPT THE MAN OF MY DREAMS

**Red**

awww im sorry blue

*hug*

**Blue**

okay wtf 

affection???

from you???

am i dreaming???

**Red**

no fuck off

i have just had an amazing night???

i got to cuddle with him, blue... CUDDLE!!!

**Blue**

aw im happy for you

oh yeah

and ive maybe kinda been thinking

**Red**

really?!?!

im proud.

i didnt think you could actually do it

**Blue**

okay fuck off you little shit

i was wondering if maybe you would like to meet sometime soon?????

**Red**

oh

well

i mean

i would love to 

but

ughhhh

um

im scared that after we meet you wont want to talk anymore

and this is really stupid but you mean something to me????

i dont have many friends

but the few friends i do have i took a while to warm up to

it took me about an hour until i decided i wanted to be your friend and that surprising considering how long it took me to grow close with my other friends

i would love to meet you someday but maybe not now...

i just really dont want you to leave me....

**Blue**

aww red

you are so cute

and its fine as long as we meet someday

and red?

**Red**

yeah?

**Blue**

i will never leave you. i promise.

**Red**

thanks blue

well im going to sleep, talk tomorrow???

**Blue**

ofc <3

* * *

 

**Gremlin**

so i texted hunk...

and YOU BETTER FUCKING EXPLAIN YOURSELF

**Emo Bitch**

wait

what did i do

pidge wtf did i do

**Gremlin**

YOU HURT LANCE

HE HASNT LEFT HIS ROOM

THE ONLY THING HE SAID TO HUNK WAS SOMETHING IN SPANISH WITH YOUR NAME MIXED IN

**Emo Bitch**

okay i did nothing wtf

...

what is his address???

**Gremlin**

okay why tf would you need that?

**Emo Bitch**

im going to his house

**Gremlin**

what if he is asleep?

**Emo Bitch**

at 8:00 pm????

**Gremlin**

yes

he sleeps when he is sad

**Emo Bitch**

...well

i can wait for him to walk up

**Gremlin**

thats actually kinda sweet

okay

i will give you his address

**Emo Bitch**

THANK YOUUUUUUU <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

* * *

 

Keith was about 5 minutes away from Lance's house. 

He checked the time.

_8:56 p.m._

He took a deep breath. Honestly, he had no idea what he was doing or why. Maybe he felt guilty after Pidge "yelled" at him for upsetting Lance. He was confused as to why Lance would be mad at him, he hadn't done anything...had he?

Keith arrived at Lance's apartment and was about to get out of Pidge's old green jeep (Keith thinks it is a horrible color but his motorcycle had been acting up, so Pidge's car it is) when he saw Lance stepping into a limo.

Now, this is when a normal person would go back home and continue with their night. Keith is not a normal person. Keith decided to follow the limo until it stopped in front of a club. Keith watched Lance step out, noticing how tight his jeans were and how well the shirt showed off his toned arms. Keith saw Lance walk towards someone else.

Lance was hugging a tall man with smooth dark skin and white hair billowing down his shoulders. The white-haired man took Lance's hand in his own and placed a soft kiss on his hand.

Keith's breathing hitched. He watched as Lance blushed and flirted with the white-haired man.

To Keith, it was so clear how much they cared for each other. He watched as Lance walked into the club hand in hand with the white-haired man.

Of course, Lance liked him.

He was everything Keith was not.

He was rich, tall, flirty, and 100% ethreal.

Keith knew there was only one way to help him feel better, so Keith went home and opened the liquor cabinet.

* * *

**Red**

hiii blluureeee

inm sooooo sad rm

shitg &*rn

hes gotr a  boiyfreind

nd thet webnt somewherre nice

i wish hde take me to nice places ad  i eanna go on dagtes with him

asnd i wanna kiss jim

****HIM

idk jim

wjos jim???

whatwver

but hes so rpetty

*pretty

but i cant kiss jim if he had a boytfriend

*him

* * *

 

Lance didn't know what he was doing. All he knew was that lips were violently sucking on the skin beneath his jawline. 

Lance had a few drinks and was thinking about Keith the whole time. Lance had even told the limo driver about him.

Lance tried to remember the limo driver's name. Aksha? Ashakea? Ashka?

Lance hadnt been paying much attention to the driver's name, he was too busy talking about Keith.

He wished it was Keith's lips on his neck instead of a stranger's.

* * *

 

**Blue**

UGHHHH IM SO HUNGOVER

**Red**

same

**Blue**

i might die

**Red**

same

**Blue**

also im sorry the guy you like has a boyfriend

**Red**

thanks blue <3

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed


	7. the lace in your dress tangles my neck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "oh god, now they are pining idiots with phones"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i have no idea how the title relates to the chapter but enjoy

**Blue**

HELLO RED

RED

RED

RED

**Red**

whaaaat

**Blue**

it is wednesday my dudes

aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

**Red**

okay wtf 

you woke me up for that???

**Blue**

why are you asleep??? 

its only 12

**Red**

im sad im allowed to sleep as much as i want

**Blue**

okay grandpa

go back to sleep

**Red**

WELL I CANT NOW!!!!

**Blue**

bitch im not sorry

**Red**

fuck off blue

you should be sorry

**Blue**

actually

i am sorry

you are going to have horrible bags under your eyes

you will be hideous

**Red**

well you will too

**Blue**

incorrect

my skin is always beautiful and the amount of sleep i get does not change that

im always gorgeous

youre skin is probably dry and pimpley and gross ugh

when we meet we are doing facemasks

**Red**

okay my skin isnt that bad

**Blue**

oh okay

so what products do you use???

**Red**

soap

**Blue**

aw bby im so sorry

i will help you i promise

you poor thing...

**Red**

WHAT MY SKIN IS FINE

**Blue**

tbh

i doubt that

what about your hair

when did you last wash it?

do you own conditioner???

oh god you probably dont

is it greasy???

**Red**

FUCK OFF MY HAIR IS FINE

also how would you know

you dont even know what i look like

**Blue**

you seem like the kinda person who doesnt take good enough care of themselves

**Red**

you are so annoying

**Blue**

am i right or am i right?

**Red**

im going now.

**Blue**

NOOOO

REDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

DONT GOOOO

ILL MISS YOU

**Red**

bye bitch

**Blue**

NO IM SORRYYYY

AHHH RED

DONT GOOOOOO

NOOOOOOO

**Red**

....

im only staying cause i cant go back to sleep

WHICH IS YOUR FAULT

**Blue**

<3

**Red**

god i hate you so much

**Blue**

aw thanks babe love ya 

**Red**

whatever

wyd

**Blue**

talking to u

wbu

**Red**

watching buzzfeed unsolved

**Blue**

oooo

whats that

**Red**

DJJKDFJKDFKJ

YOU DONT KNOW???

**Blue**

no...?

**Red**

do you have rabbit? 

please tell me you have rabbit

**Blue**

yeah i do

**Red**

okay cool we are watching it on there

* * *

 

**Gremlin**

keith

get the fuck out of your room

**Emo Bitch**

noooo why

**Gremlin**

cause you need to

**Emo Bitch**

im tireddd

i was up ALL NIGHT

**Gremlin**

doing what???

**Emo Bitch**

texting blue

**Gremlin**

oh?

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**Emo Bitch**

no stop

its not like that

hes just kinda cute

BUT WHEN I SAY THAT I MEAN IT LIKE WHEN I CALL A FRIEND CUTE

**Gremlin**

sure (¬‿¬)

**Emo Bitch**

okay wtf are all of these emojis

**Gremlin**

stop trying to change the subject keithy

**Emo Bitch**

WE WERENT EVEN TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING

**Gremlin**

uh yeah

we were talking about your developing feelings for your internet friend

**Emo Bitch**

i dont have any developing feelings

**Gremlin**

yes you fucking do

**Emo Bitch**

nope

WE BOTH LIKE OTHER PEOPLE

**Gremlin**

keith...

you do realize that you could like more than one person 

maybe, now stay with me, you like blue and lance???

**Emo Bitch**

okay i have never even met blue

**Gremlin**

but you talk to him more than you talk to lance

**Emo Bitch**

well yeah but.......

fuck

i like him...

maybe a little....

FUCKKKKKK

THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

I BLAME YOU

**Gremlin**

WTF DID I DO???

**Emo Bitch**

YOU GAVE ME HIS NUMBER

AND HELPED ME DISCOVER MY FEELINGS

**Gremlin**

YOURE WELCOME?!??!?!

**Emo Bitch**

ughhhhhhhhhhh

* * *

 

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

lance

you have to eat breakfast

lance

dont make me do it...

...

you leave me no choice...

**Lancey Lance**

YOU DIDNT HAVE TO TAKE OUT THE DRUMS

WTF

WELL IM AWAKE NOW YOU LIL SHIT

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

ah im sorry

i just thought you were already awake and just didnt want to eat

im sorry

**Lancey Lance**

its fine

i just stayed up all night talking to red

heh he is so cute

he likes aliens!!! its adorable

and he got mad and when i woke him up lol and then when i made fun of how bad his skin probably is and he threatened to leave but he didnt aw hunk it was so cute

then we watched buzzfeed unsolved

he kept saying stupid shit but it was so fucking cute hunk omg

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

???

**Lancey Lance**

IN A TOTALLY PLATONIC WAY OFC

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

doesnt sound very platonic...

**Lancey Lance**

but it is.

it always will be 100% platonic.

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

okay hun, just come out of your room and eat the breakfast i made you

**Lancey Lance**

omw

* * *

 

**OPERATION M.K.A.L.A.T.**

 

**Gremlin**

oh god now they are pining idiots with phones.

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

i need to tell lance

but...

its just really cute that they still dont know...

**MATTitties**

what happened???

**Gremlin**

well keith and lance arent talking

but red and blue are

and keith kinda realized that he likes blue

but the dumbass still doesnt know that blue is lance

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

and lance likes red but also had no idea that its keith

**MATTitties**

oh god

what poor unfortunate morons

**Gremlin**

i know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	8. how do i live???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance figures some shit out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys like this chapter!!! i will try to update again in a few hours or tomorrow idk

**Blue**

good morninggg

**Red**

ughhhhhh

**Blue**

hi

**Red**

hi.

**Blue**

whatcha doing

**Red**

painting

wbu

**Blue**

oh yeah, youre an artist! 

im going to the dance studio

**Red**

yeah im an artist

you work there right?

**Blue**

yeah!

**Red**

are you just going to instruct the kids or just get ready for a competition or...

**Blue**

i am doing a one-on-one lesson with this girl named Amanda 

shes really talented but she doesnt see it no matter how much i tell her

**Red**

it sounds like shes really important to you

**Blue**

ofc 

all of my students are

i want them to think of me as a friend, not just a teacher, ya know???

**Red**

thats really nice...

most teachers dont give a fuck about their students

**Blue**

well i dont want to just teach them, i want to make an impact

i want them to remember me

not just because i could dance but because of how comfortable they felt in my classes and how comfortable they were around me

i want them to feel unique and special because each and every one of them are

**Red**

do you even realize how amazing you are?

**Blue**

meh im not that great

but enough about me

tell me what you are painting

**Red**

well i have been working on it for a while

i only really work on it when im feeling extra inspired idk

i worked on it a bit last night 

my roommate says its great but something is definitely missing...

i know that it is good but it is missing something important i just cant figure out what

but that doesnt matter cause you are wrong!

wtf do you mean you arent that great???

youre brilliant

i mean, you have made my life a whole lot better

**Blue**

no i havent you are just saying that

**Red**

but im not just saying that

you are always so vibrant and happy and beautiful and bright

* * *

 

**Lancey Lance**

I CANT DO THIS ANYMOREEEEEEEEEEEE

HUNKKKKK

HELP ME

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

Lance whats wrong

**Lancey Lance**

HE IS SO SWEET AH

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

who..?

**Lancey Lance**

RED

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

you were just talking about how platonic your relationship with him was yesterday...?

**Lancey Lance**

okay 

maybe not completely platonic

he is just so cute

and he cares so much about what he does

and aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh

he is so amazing

he makes me feel so good about myself!!!

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

so you like him???

**Lancey Lance**

well maybe a little

idk

but i still like keith????

is that weird???

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

its not weird

* * *

 

**Red**

you are absolutely fascinating

im just plain old keith...

**Blue**

DJFKDKJFXJHS

* * *

 

**Lancey Lance**

HUNKKKKKKKKKK

_*screenshot*_

KEITH

IT CANT BE THE SAME KEITH

AH

FUCK BRB

* * *

 

**OPERATION M.K.A.L.A.T.**

 

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

um guys lance is figuring things out

**MATTitties**

fuck

**Gremlin**

PAY UP BITCH

**MATTitties**

OKAY BOTH OF THEM HAVENT FOUND OUT YET

**Dad**

What happened, Hunk?

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

ah okay

so keith was telling lance how amazing he was (it was so adorable ah) and the keith said "im just plain old keith" and now lance is panicking

**Princess Allura**

aw how cute

romelle agrees uwu shes reading over my shoulder

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

HI ROMELLE!!!!!

WE MISS YOUUUU LETS ALL HANG OUT SOON

**Princess Allura**

she says hi

and that she would love to see you guys again

but back to lonce

has he found out yet???

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

no not yefghjfgdsfg

HE IS TYPING AH OKAY LOVE YOU GUYS WISH ME LUCK

**Gremlin**

good luck hunk

we love you

**Princess Allura**

good luck with lonce

**Dad**

Allura...

its lance...

**Princess Allura**

no it isnt fuck off shiro

go bother your boyfriend

**MATTitties**

allura dont be mean to shiro he is sensitive :(((

****

* * *

 

**Red**

oh

OH

FUCK

oops

well

didnt mean to do that

um

hi, my name's keith.

**Blue**

okay

so um

i happen to know a keith

and i doubt you are the same people

but

i have a few questions???

what color are your eyes?

**Red**

uh 

kinda dark purple..?

**Blue**

and your hair???

**Red**

black

**Blue**

and where do you live?

**Red**

new york

**Blue**

do you ever wear jewelry???

**Red**

i recently started wearing my lip ring again....?

**Blue**

okay

yea

you arent him

nope

**Red**

okay..

* * *

 

**Lancey Lance**

HUNK ITS HIM

IM GOING TO CRY

AHHHHHHH

WAIT

SO 

HIS ROOMMATE GAVE HIM MY NUMBER...

PIDGE

SHE KNEW

THAT LITTLE BITCH

wait

hunk...

you are being suspiciously quiet...

did you happen to know that red was keith?

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

...

yes.

IM SORRY

I WANTED TO TELL YOU

but i couldnt cause you had to find out on your own

**Lancey Lance**

WHY DID I HAVE TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN?!?!?!?

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

its more romantic...?

**Lancey Lance**

how

the fuck

is it romantic

HE IS PINING OVER SOME OTHER DUDE

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

well of course its romantic now you know how much he...wait what???

he isnt pining over some other dude

**Lancey Lance**

yes he is...

he has told me all about him

god, its probably that james griffin guy

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

lance, they hate each other

**Lancey Lance**

yeah and i thought i hated keith when i first met him

but guess what????

I HAD A BIG ASS GAY CRUSH ON HIM

AND HE HAS A BIG ASS GAY CRUSH ON SOMEONE ELSE

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

lance, you are wrong

you really need to talk to keith...

**Lancey Lance**

im not talking to him

that isnt going to help me get over him...i dont know if i can get over him....

whatever

im going to take a nap.

see you later hunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao im sorry everyone but it will get better


	9. the death of a bachelor...letting the water fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squad comforts lance 
> 
> then lance and pidge make a deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this chapter is short, im really tired

**OPERATION M.K.A.L.A.T.**

**Princess Allura**

what happened???

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

well

HE THINKS KEITH LIKES JAMES

**Dad**

he hates james

**Gremlin**

okay but did he tell keith who he was???

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

NO

he thinks keith is going to stop talking to him or figure out about his crush or be disappointed

**MATTittes**

HAH I DONT HAVE TO GIVE YOU ANY MONEY YET KATIE

**Gremlin**

KEITH WILL FIND OUT 

HES A SMART LIL SHIT

but anyway

poor lance...

**MATTitties**

how hasnt he realized how much keith cares about him???

**Princess Allura**

hunk

tell lonce to get dressed

im taking him to my house

hunk, put all of the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies in your car

pidge and matt, bring the video game thingies you and lonce play way too much

shiro, go buy some comfort food and borrow some of adam's nail polish 

i will pick up lance at 4:00

we will be at my house at 4:30

everyone should be there at 4:20

**MATTitties**

heh 

**Gremlin**

420 hehe

**Princess Allura**

you two

are idiots.

see you guys soon.

* * *

 

When the knocking on the door didn't stop, Lance got up to answer.

"Hello, Lonce..." Allura said with a sympathetic look on her face.

"NOPE. STOP. I don't need your sympathy, I'm okay with the fact that I fell for Keith twice and that I found out he didn't like me twice. It's okay! I'm...okay..." Lance responds, choking back tears.

Allura frowns when Lance offers her a fake smile. She opens her arms allowing Lance to wrap his arms around her and bury his face in her hair.

"ALLURAAAA" Lance's muffled voice whined into Allura's hair, causing it to sound more like "awwuwa".

"I'm sad." Lance sniffles.

"I know, but we are going to help you feel better, okay?"

Lance just nodded in response before pulling away and walking with Allura to her car.

* * *

 

**Red**

hi blue

blueeee?

blue

okay you need to answer

i saw a corgi

his name was jack lol

kosmo liked him

kosmo is my dog

okay blue im a little worried now...

are you okay???

did i do something?

im sorry...

* * *

 

"Pidge, honey, you are making a mess."

"Fuck off, Lance. I know what I'm doing."

"No, you don't. The bottle is spilling. You knocked it over when you were trying to 'get my nails from a better angle'."

Pidge looked down at the blue nail polish spilling onto the floor.

"Shit."

Lance snorted.

"Okay, how about I paint your nails?" Lance offers.

"But we were supposed to be comforting you because your dumbass can't see how fucking head-over-heels Keith is for you!" 

"But he isn't!"

Pidge just sighs and rolls her eyes as Lance's phone beeps for the 11th time causing Lance to flinch.

"I think you should answer that," Pidge says softly.

"Nope. I'm not talking to him. EVER AGAIN." 

Pidge huffed before her face lit up, her mischevious eyes glistened and a smirk gracing her features.

She pushed up her glasses.

"How about I make you a deal?" Pidge offers.

"I don't trust you but go ahead."

Her smirk grew.

"Keep talking to Keith for another month. If he ever says anything about liking you, you need to tell him who you are. If he doesn't, you never have to talk to him again and I will buy you an ice cream."

Pidge offered her hand to Lance.

"Deal." Lance responded, a small smirk on his face as he shakes Pidge's hand.

* * *

 

**Blue**

IM SORRY 

I WAS OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND MY PHONE DIED

YOU DID NOTHING WRONG

**Red**

and youre okay?

**Blue**

yeah

**Red**

okay

good.

**Blue**

awww

was someone worried?????

**Red**

yes.

**Blue**

im sorry

i didnt mean to scare you

**Red**

its fine

its just weird that i wouldnt know if anything happened to you cause i only know you on the internet

you could die and i wouldnt know...

**Blue**

ah thats horrifying

**Red**

yeah

please dont die lol

but really

im not kidding

dont die.

**Blue**

i wont.

**Red**

good.

****

* * *

 

Lance sighed.

He knew he could never get Keith.

Perfect, beautiful, smart, stubborn, Keith.

Keith liked someone else. And Keith obviously like that person more than he could ever like Lance. That's why Lance didn't hesitate to text the girl from the club.

 

_**Lance** _

_hey baby, doing anything tonight?_

_**Nyma** _

_no...do you want to come over?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will hopefully have the next chapter uploaded sometime within the next 24 hours, hope you guys are enjoying it so far!!!


	10. death of a bachelor...seems so fitting for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh Aurora you got what you wanted, Lance got chained to a tree lol

*record scratch*

*freeze frame on Lance chained to a tree*

"Yup. That's me. And you are probably wondering how I got here." Lance says to himself, giggling. 

Lance didn't mean to do anything wrong. He just wanted to have some sex and forget his problems, what's wrong with that? They hadn't even reached 3rd base when Lance accidentally said something...

He didn't mean to but Keith's name just slipped out of his mouth!

Lance frowned.

Of course, he fucked up the only positive distraction he had from Keith. He wouldn't have been so mad at Nyma, I mean, if someone's tongue was down my throat and then they started moaning someone else's name he would be pissed. Lance would have immediately left.

But Nyma didn't leave. Instead, she pushed Lance outside of her apartment and pulled him into an alleyway and chained him to a tree.

Why was there even a tree in an alleyway?!?!?

At first, Lance hadn't stopped calling for help, but he realized that it would be a while until someone saw him. So, he stopped calling for help and tried to find other ways to entertain himself.

At first, he would listen to birds. Then he got bored. And Lance, being Lance, really likes to talk. So, he talked to himself. Lance talked about anything that came to mind. 

As Lance listed off his favorite pickup lines, he saw a little Russian Blue kitten wandering in his direction. 

"NYMA!!! You really need to let me go now, their's a kitten and I love her and I want her."

Instead of Nyma, Lance heard someone else saying his name.

"Lance...?" Keith asked with an eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Heyyyy...could you maybe unchain me?" 

Keith smirked as he slowly backed away. "Sorry Lance, can't hear you."

"Come on! Please, help me. There is a kitten and I want her."

Keith shook his head in disbelief and a small smile gracing his face. Yeah. like he could say no to Lance.

Keith unchained Lance and Lance ran to the kitten.

"Aw, look...she's precious..." Lance said as he picked up the kitten and cradled her.

Keith watched Lance hold the kitten and look at her with the most affectionate in his eyes. Keith sighed. He hoped Lance would look at him like that someday.

Keith pulled on the sleeve of Lance's sweatshirt.

"Wait, where the fuck are we going?"

"We are going to my house and you are going to explain why you were tied to a tree."

"How far away is your house from here?"

"About 25 minutes on my bike..."

Fuck. Lance took an uber to Nyma's house.

He would have to ride on the back of Keith's motorcycle for TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES.

There was no way Lance could do that. But, Lance knew for a fact that his house was only about 5 minutes away. He might not be able to survive 25 minutes, but 5 would be...tolerable.

It's not that he was scared of going on a motorcycle! He was scared of going on Keith's motorcycle and having to hold on to Keith's waist, and being COMPLETELY pressed up against him.

 So Lance, who is a surprisingly good actor, answered quite calmly.

"Well, as much as I would love to, let's go to my house! Besides, I really want to get this kitten there. We can invite Romelle! She is a vet, right?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, she is."

Lance grinned happily at Keith.

"Then lead the way, mullet!"

* * *

 

Keith sat on the motorcycle waiting for Lance to join him.  Lance just stood there. Gaping.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" Lance wanted to scream.

Keith was hot, even more on a motorcycle. And Lance was not ready. He takes a deep breath and joins Keith.

Keith is also about to FUCKING DIE. Lance snakes his arms around Keith's waist and then rests his chin on Keith's shoulder.

"Is this okay?" 

Keith blinks before actually registering whatever Lance had said. 

"Oh, umm, yeah it's fine. Perfect."

"Okay, just go slow..." Lance says softly into Keith's ear before backing away, checking that the kitten is okay in the pocket on the inside of his coat. Keith shudders at the warmth of Lance's breath on his ear. 

Suddenly, to Lance's surprise, the motorcycle starts moving. He yelps loudly before gripping Keith's waist tighter.

* * *

**Gay Mullet**

hey romelle

so

i need your help

we found a kitten

**Old Emo Fren**

AWWW

wait

who is 'we'?????

**Gay Mullet**

Lance

i was going to visit nyma but when i got to a door there was one of those fucking sign things on her door handle

AND IT FUCKING SAID "dont come in, im having sex (unless you want to join)"

so

i was walking back to my bike when i saw lance chained to a tree screaming about a kitten

so um yeah we need you to come over and help

we are at lance's house now

**Old Emo Fren**

why THE FUCK was lance chained to a tree

also nyma???

i recognise the name but ???

**Gay Mullet**

no idea i will ask him why 

and nyma is the girl i used to get weed from lmao

we stayed in touch

**Old Emo Fren**

YOU STAYED IN TOUCH WITH HER BUT NOT ME OKAY DAMN THAT HURTS

**Gay Mullet**

i only stayed in touch for the weed

i still smoked after high school but stopped after a while

and dont worry, you are still my favorite friend from high school 

also are you on your way?

**Old Emo Fren**

okay i will be there soon but first...

how are you?

i mean

being with lance...all alone ;)

**Gay Mullet**

it is both awful and amazing

he is so cute wtf

also KITTEN

LANCE

WITH A FUCKING KITTEN

i almost cried romelle you dont fucking understand

ALSO MOTORCYCLE

HE WAS FUCKING PRESSED AGAINST ME 

AND HE WHISPERED IN A SOMEWHAT SEXUAL WAY IN MY EAR

**Old Emo Fren**

okay you let him on your motorcycle?!?!? 

I ASKED FOR A RIDE AND YOU THREATENED TO STAB ME

**Gay Mullet**

he didnt have his car

so i kinda had to

**Old Emo Fren**

bitch

can allura come over too?

**Gay Mullet**

sure

**Old Emo Fren**

thank you love you see you soon!!!!! xoxoxo

* * *

 

**Lancey Lance**

sooooo

i know you are on a date

but um

could you buy some kitten food later????

and a litter box?

and cat toys? 

and kitty litter?

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

lance...

did you buy a kitten?

we dont have the money to buy a cat lance 

where did you get money ugh

can you return it?

you know i love kittens but we are probably broke now lanceeee

**Lancey Lance**

i didnt buy her

i found her

and i want to keep her.

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

okay i have so many questions

first, how will we afford vet bills???

**Lancey Lance**

romelle will do it for free

or at a discounted price

she has to give discounts to friends

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

okay what about food?

**Lancey Lance**

we can afford it

i will do more dance lessons

there are many kids on the waiting list so i can teach them!

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

okay...

and my final question

where did you find her?

**Lancey Lance**

in an alley

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

why were you in an alley?

**Lancey Lance**

oh god

well

i went to go have sex with some girl i met at a club because i needed to fuck my problems away 

and while we were making out

i kinda sorta

said keith's name???

so she kicked me out and chained me to a tree

and i saw a kitten

and then keith found me, unchained me, and took me home on his motorcycle and it was so hot omg keith on a fucking motorcycle ahhh

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

lance...

i have to go 

but we need to have a discussion when i get home!!!

**Lancey Lance**

you sound like shiro 

ah

the dad voice

but tell shay i say hi!!! 

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

of course

have fun with  keith ;) ;) ;)

* * *

 

_**Hunk of a cinnamon roll made a group chat with Romelleeee, Princess, and Gremlin** _

_**Hunk of a cinnamon roll named group chat "THEY ARE BONDING UWU"** _

 

**THEY ARE BONDING UWU**

 

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

no one enter my home

klance bonding is occurring

**Romelleeee**

but i need to check on the kitten

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

be quick

like really quick

you must let them bond

they have been pining for too long 

maybe tonight is the night that they both finally confess

**Gremlin**

i doubt it

but sure

**Princess**

try not to be so negative!

they will get together sooner or later!!!

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

i have to go but DO NOT GO INTO MY HOUSE UNLESS YOU ARE ROMELLE OR ALLURA and be quick!!! 

okay love you guys byeeee <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i havent been updating too often but i hope to update more this week!!!! love you guys and thanks for reading!!!


	11. happily ever after...how could i ask for more?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance learns something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i havent posted but i have been really sad recently and there has been a lot going on but i hope you enjoy, im planning on updating again soon ily guys

Allura and Romelle do not take long to arrive. 

"Okay, well, the kitten is healthy," Romelle says after five minutes of inspection.

"And we are going to go," Allura adds before smiling brightly and dragging a somewhat hesitant Romelle to the door.

"Lance, make sure you buy her kitten food and play with her and buy a litter box...just call me if you need me, okay, bye!!!" Romelle is basically pulled out of the door.

Lance was smiling until the door closed. His face dropped and fell dramatically onto the floor, putting his hands over his face.

"What was I thinking? I can't raise a kitten! I can barely manage to keep myself alive! Like, seriously. Yesterday I forgot to eat. Who the fuck forgets to eat??? I was too busy with my skincare routine to eat. I fell asleep and woke up light-headed like 'oh shit, guess I forgot about food. oops.' LIKE WHAT THE FUCK-"

"Lance, shut up. I can help you with the kitten."

Lance stopped. And stared. 

Keith didn't know what he did wrong. He just offered to help Lance, it wasn't a big deal...was it? Maybe it was. He didn't know how, but he was sure he fucked up.

"...I'm sorry...?" 

Lance just blinked, realizing how long he had been staring. 

"Oh, no! You did nothing wrong, just... thank you."

Lance couldn't believe that Keith wanted to help him raise the kitten. It shouldn't affect him as much as it does but Keith wanted to raise a kitten with him!!! It was such a coupley thing to do. Lance couldn't help but think this was the start of his family with Keith. A few moments later, Lance came to his senses, realizing although Keith offered to help with the kitten, it doesn't mean they are starting a family.

Keith smiled at Lance.

For the rest of the evening, Keith and Lance played with the kitten. When Hunk came back, Keith decided it was time for him to leave.

"Well, I think it's time for me to head out..."

"Oh, uh, okay."

"See you later," Keith smiles before leaving.

* * *

Keith runs into his apartment, scaring the fuck out of poor Pidge.

"HE IS SO CUTE. FUCK."

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, KEITH."

Keith paid no attention to his roommate and ran into his bedroom to text Blue.

* * *

**Red**

so cute

holy shit blue

**Blue**

your crush?

**Red**

i spend the whole evening with him

and a kitten

IMAGINE YOUR CRUSH WITH A KITTEN

 

Lance screeched. Loudly.

"Is everything okay?" Hunk asked, running into the living room.

"KEITH LIKES ME."

Lance smiled at Hunk before a look of realization passed through his features.

"Keith likes me. Holy shit."

Lance stood up and plopped onto the couch with his face buried into a pillow.

* * *

**OPERATION M.K.A.L.A.T.  
**

 

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

IM SO PROUD

LANCE FIGURED IT OUT

HE FINALLY REALIZED KEITH LIKES HIM

**Gremlin**

FUCKING FINALLY!!!

when is he going to tell keith

**Hunk of a cinnamon roll**

no idea

he isnt even talking to me right now

he is just laying down face first on the couch

i think he is in shock

aw the kitten is climbing over him

**MATTitties**

fuck.

**Gremlin**

I WON THE BET MATTHEW 

**MATTitties**

NO YOU DIDNT

THEY DIDNT FIND OUT ON THEIR OWN

IT DOESNT COUNT IF LANCE TELLS KEITH

**G** **remlin**

NO 

THE DEAL WAS IF THEY FOUND OUT OVER 6 MONTHS

AS LONG AS WE DIDNT MEDDLE

SO

I WON

HAH

YOU OWE ME $20

* * *

 

**Blue**

i never asked

what is his name?

**Red**

my crush?

**Blue**

yeah

**Red**

um why

**Blue**

so i can create your ship name

**Red**

ship name?

like

a boat?

**Blue**

jfc red no

oml

a combination of two peoples names

**Red**

oh um

his name is Lance

so i guess lieth????

**Blue**

no ew

klance

**Red**

huh

klance

i like it

 

"UGHHHH" Lance groaned.

"Why is he so adorable?" Lance mumbled.

 

**Blue**

red?

**Red**

yeah?

**Blue**

we need to talk...

**Red**

oh um 

yeah sure

about what?

**Blue**

no not here

in person

see you tomorrow at balmera cafe at 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and please comment i love feedback!!!


	12. life time of laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klance :))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so SEASON 8 WTF????  
> here is some klance to heal our broken souls :((

**Red**

blue?

blueeee

wtf?

what's going on?

well um

see you tomorrow i guess?

* * *

  **Red**

so im here

im waiting

its 12:10

blue

what the hell

where are you???

**Blue**

im sorry...

im scared

**Red**

well yeah im scared too!!!

im meeting you for the first time!!! I dont even know what you look like!!!

  **Blue**

Well....

you kinda know me

**Red**

okay wtf

and you didnt tell me???

**Blue**

I WAS SCARED!

**Red**

blue...

you dont have to be scared of me

**Blue**

im not scared of you

im scared of how you will react...

**Red**

why?

no matter what, you mean a lot to me Blue

I want to know who you are

**Blue**

okay...

im right here.

look up.

* * *

Keith looked up, not knowing what to expect.

He almost thought he would see someone he despised, like one of the snobby kids in class, but what he saw was even more surprising.

"L-Lance! Hi!"

"Hi.." Lance smiled softly at Keith.

Many thoughts ran through Keith's mind. Was Lance Blue? How long did Lance/Blue know that he was Keith? Who does Lance/Blue like? And then Keith realized what he had told Lance the day previous...

"Holy shit. I'm so sorry. You like someone else and I probably freaked you out telling you that you were the person I had that huge, gay, crush on, and-"

"Keith! Don't apologize because, well... I kinda have a huge gay crush on you too."

Keith's eyes widened and Lance smiled at Keith.

"O-oh. But I was so sure that you liked someone else..."

Lance laughed. "No, why would I like anyone else? Think about all of the things Blue told you about his crush. That was you! I was talking about you!"

It is during moments like these that Keith does not think. Sometimes his recklessness ends in disaster, other times, it doesn't. This is one of the times that it doesn't.

Keith pulled the collar of Lance's shirt, bringing Lance's lips to his own. At first, Lance was motionless, but after a second of realization, Lance brought his hands to the small of Keith's back and Keith's fingers laced into Lance's hair. They were pulled away from each other when they heard enthusiastic claps and cheers.

The looked up to see Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, Allura, Romelle, Adam, Shay, Matt and Jaelyn.

The boys pulled away from each other, their faces flushing red.

"FUCKING FINALLY." Pidge screeched.

"We are proud of you!" Shiro, Allura, and Adam said.

"Awww," Hunk and Shay cooed.

"Heh, that's gay," Matt reacts.

Keith and Lance flushed even darker shades of red. Lance grabbed Keith's hand and rushed him outside.

"Um, do you wanna go somewhere more private?" Lance asked, biting his lip.

"Sure."

They spent the rest of the day explaining everything and making out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is only going to be one more chapter but i hope you enjoyed!! thank you for all the support and positive feedback ily guys


	13. update

hi!

so its me, the author and recently i just havent been doing very well and i dont have much motivation and im so so sorry to those of you who want to read the next part but i dont know when i will publish it? i mean, i could publish it next week but idk i might publish it in a month...i just have so much to write for the next chapter and i want you guys to be satisfied with the ending but i hope you can wait for me to publish the next part and im so sorry life has just been pretty shitty recently and i have so many new ideas and things i want to write but ughhh writing this is beginning to stress me out so i am going to go back to writing my other fic "internet friends" until i am sure how to end the story and make sure there are no loose ends and whatnot.

 

thank you so much for reading, see you again soon!

**Author's Note:**

> i realized that it kinda sounds like love simon with lance being called blue and everything but idk he's the blue paladin, it seemed fitting. i hope you guys enjoyed and please comment i love hearing what you guys think of the story uwu


End file.
